Hot flushes, gray hair down there and constant brain fog are frustrating—and totally normal.

It starts innocently enough. Somewhere north of 40, you might find yourself getting your first pair of glasses so you can read the fine print, that, at one point, didn’t look so darn tiny. But ladies, that’s just the beginning.

With menopause approaching, our bodies and minds start going through a cascade of changes, many of which can leave us feeling frustrated, uncomfortable and just plain weird, if we let them.

There’s a lot of unnecessary shame around the uncomfortable aspects of the ageing process, says sex and relationship educator and therapist Dr Laura Berman. “Women are often reticent to bring it up at all. A lot of women still suffer in silence.”

While you may not feel so great about the changes you’re experiencing, knowing that to expect and how to cope can help soothe any feelings of unease. Here you’ll find seven not-so-comfortable midlife issues that are actually super common—even if no one is talking about them at your weekly ladies brunch. Plus, tips for coping with each.

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