Remember how you gazed at your body in the mirror aged 20 and were so mean to yourself? We’ve all been there! And here we are, still hating ourselves, and our bodies, in our 40s and 50s. Whether it’s about your clothes getting too tight, anxiety about donning a swimsuit, or just noticing a few signs of, gulp, ageing, as we look in the mirror.
You are not alone. In fact, this kind of body self-criticism causes many of us to have a troubled relationship with eating, says dietitian Lyndi Cohen (pictured). Having spent a lifetime battling with her own weight and body image, Lyndi’s book Your Weight is not the Problem details practical tips and strategies to help all of us cut the negative self-talk and develop a healthy relationship with food and our body.
“Being thin or being pretty is the least impressive thing you can do,” she says.
“Health and happiness aren’t about having a perfectly flat stomach or a cellulite-free tush. They’re about feeling comfortable in your skin and having the energy to do the things we love,” she says.
“And so hating on your body impacts everything you do, from how you show up in the world to how intimate you allow yourself to be with your partner. Here are her top tips for boosting your body confidence.
1. Change the channel
“So become aware and notice when your brain gets stuck in a (negative) loop. I want you to imagine that your brain is like a radio channel. And just like a radio channel, when we don't like the music, we can flick a switch and stop listening to that channel.
"I want you to try practice doing that: notice when those thoughts, those negative, unhelpful thoughts, are coming in and flick the channel. And decide to think new thoughts, because if those (negative) thoughts were helping you lose weight, wouldn't you be at your goal weight by now?”
2. Find clothes that really fit
Another smart tip from Lyndi is to set aside some time to go through your wardrobe and find clothes that fit and feel flattering. “I need you to wake up in the morning and not let getting dressed ruin your day, to destroy your mood, or to make you think a diet is the solution when really what we need to do is find clothing that fits your body.
Clothes are meant to fit your body and your body doesn't need to change to fit your clothes and that's an important distinction. You know what you are worth investing in. You can get some great pieces that are affordable and you deserve to wake up in the morning and get dressed and feel comfortable in your body.”
3. Exercise for fun
Many of us exercise for weight loss or out of a vague sense of what we should be doing. But it doesn't have to be an unmanageable chore. It doesn't have to be boring, either. Even short bursts of everyday activity can have a huge benefit.
"We need to do exercise purely for enjoyment because we like who we are when we exercise and we like how it makes us feel," Lyndi says.
And she believes there is a form of movement out there for everyone.
"It can be a simple walk. I have so many women who are like, 'but what's the point of going for a slow walk, it's going to burn enough calories, it's pointless'.
"No, there are so many on flow on effects from moving your body. Things such as having more energy, having a boost in your mood, sleeping better. And you can't underestimate how powerful these things are for a whole bunch of other health parameters in your life. Every [bit of] exercise counts."
Listen here as Lyndi shares more great body confidence tips on our podcast Thriving in Menopause.
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