Managing Unexpected Menopause Symptoms with Kaz Cooke

“I just I thought I was going bonkers,” says author and cartoonist Kaz Cooke. “And, as with a lot of women, I saw the GP for, like, three and a half minutes and got a prescription for antidepressants. And they work really well for some people, but at that time it wasn't what I needed.”

Cooke wasn’t depressed, she was experiencing perimenopause. When she was in her forties she was confronted with a whole host of symptoms she didn’t at first connect with menopause.

“I had an absolute crash of self-esteem and confidence and confidence,” she says. Then brain fog hit. She couldn’t find the right words, which for a writer, is a real problem.

“I felt like I was really failing at my job.”

She also felt like she had a vaginal infection and was itchy all the time.

“My skin was so dry. And I thought I was going a bit mad because I was itchy all the time. I sort of kind of felt ultra-sensitive…”

Looking back, Cooke says, “I wasn't just visited by the menopause fairy, but a flying squadron of them.”

This experience led her to write her informative and funny book It’s the Menopause. She even surveyed more than 8,000 women to weave in their perspectives. Through the stories they shared with Cooke she discovered how the menopause fairy doesn’t visit us all equally, something she depicts by setting an amusing scene of five women sitting on a bus:

“Aisha is 43 and she's having a fierce hot flush. Michelle, 47, is plagued by a weird feeling of low self-esteem and concentration problems that have affected her work… Tani, 52, has just started a weirdly heavy period even though she had a light one two weeks ago.

“Kim, 51, is suffering with every peri-menopausal symptom known to womankind and wants to lie down on the floor. She's worried she's heading for a heart attack because of an erratic heartbeat that seems to strike most nights while she's watching TV.

“Penny, 56, is sitting in the front seat. She stopped having periods recently but hasn't even noticed. And she'll never have another one.”

“At the next stop, all the other women are going to throw Penny out of the window,” jokes Cooke.

Around 20% of women are blessed with no symptoms of menopause, just like Penny. But another 60% will have mild to moderate symptoms and 20% will have severe symptoms, reports Jean Hailes for Women’s Health.

Prevention Australia recently spoke to Cooke for the Thriving in Menopause podcast, and she explained what she has learnt about managing menopause symptoms.

An illustration from Kaz Cooke's It's the Menopause

1. Start the conversation

“I think a lot of women do feel very isolated and very alone in menopause.” Talk to friends and people who make you feel better, “friends who can laugh about menopause who can share their own experiences.” We don’t need to be shy about talking about menopause, especially with friends that might be going through the same thing.

If you don’t have a friend you’re comfortable talking about menopause with, try an online group, like the Menopause & Peri-Menopause Support Group Australia on Facebook.

2. Talk to your partner

If you don’t know what to expect in menopause, how can your partner know what to expect? Have a frank conversation about how you’re feeling, even if you’re both a bit uncomfortable about it.

“I think a lot of male partners in particular [make] these awful jokes about [how] everyone goes crazy during menopause. But I think if you said to a man, ‘If your penis was itchy all day, and sex felt like having sex with razor blades, and you couldn't remember anything, and your heart is racing, you would be terrified. And your doctor would be saying, ‘Oh, my God, we’ve got to help you!’,” she says.

3. Don’t blame yourself, blame your hormones

You’ve forgotten something, you’re irritable, you can’t cope. But it’s not your fault.

“I think most of us are very quick to blame ourselves. For some people just knowing that those changes might happen… that can be enough for some women to go easier on themselves,” she says.