Even in the most amicable split, emotions are running high—and if you're not prudent with what you post on social media, it can stir up unnecessary drama. (And really, do you need more drama right now?) If you're in the midst of a divorce, keep things civil by steering clear of these all-too-tempting social media blunders.
Bad Habit #1: Jumping the gun
When you're used to sharing the minutiae of your life with everyone in your network, it may feel weird to suddenly keep mum about something so major. But discretion can help avoid hurt feelings and legal mayhem, so it's smart to have a talk with your ex-partner about your social media strategy. "Decide together when and how to approach things like changing relationship status," says clinical psychologist Joseph Cilona. Whether you choose to keep quiet, post a short-but-sweet joint announcement, or even share a silly divorce selfie, try to make it a mutual decision rather than a race to break the scoop.
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Bad Habit #2: Bashing your ex
Social media can provide a huge support system, but that doesn't mean you should expect your online tribe to tear down your ex. "Saying mean-spirited things not only creates tension among the people getting divorced, but also creates tension among family and friends," says divorce coach Rosalind Sedacca. "It can be hurtful for those who love both people—you shouldn't force them to take sides." This is especially true if you and your ex have kids who might read your online jabs. "You don't want to be hurting anyone in the family," Sedacca adds. "If you start with awareness and empathy, you're more likely to make the right decisions."
Bad Habit #3: Oversharing
The internet is forever, so save the scandalous details for your closest friends and keep your online profile as drama-free as possible. "Sharing personal details relating to a divorce on social media rarely results in anything positive," Cilona says. "Do you really want the hiring manager of the amazing new job you want reading dirty laundry from your divorce?"
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Bad Habit #4: Incriminating yourself
Before you brag about your latest retail-therapy purchase or post those wild #singlelife photos, think about how it might affect your settlement or custody agreement. Many divorce lawyers say they've seen an uptick in the number of recent cases where social media evidence was used. When in doubt, keep it offline.
Bad Habit #5: Spying on your ex
Honestly, who hasn't fallen down the Facebook-snooping rabbit hole now and then? But for the sake of your emotional wellbeing, avoid scrolling through your ex's Instagram or "researching" every new friend he makes on Facebook. (And if you have his password, don't use it—accessing password-protected information without permission is murky legal territory.) "When a marriage is over, a space opens up in your life that eventually must be filled with other things," Cilona says. "Spending time focused on your ex can dramatically slow down or stifle this process, keeping you stuck in the past and creating serious obstacles to a satisfying new future."
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