The Secret to Feeling Better Every Day

Humans are social creatures and most thrive around others. New research suggests that the pull toward people may be even stronger than we realise.

A study analysed 105,766 activity episodes from 41,094 participants in the American Time Use Survey, a US Census Bureau study that tracks how people aged 15 and over spend their time. Using data from 2010, 2012, 2013 and 2021, researchers found that people rated every activity as more enjoyable when done with others rather than alone. The lone outlier was in 2021, when doing kitchen clean-up with others was reported as slightly less enjoyable than flying solo.

The ABS Time Use Survey 2020–21 recorded not just what people did but also who they were with and Australians reported broad participation in leisure (about 93% of people, averaging 4 hours 23 minutes a day)—the kinds of moments most often shared with others. National wellbeing datasets also show that feeling connected is strongly tied to higher life satisfaction, while loneliness tracks with poorer mental health.

And in an Australian cohort study, spending more time with friends was linked to better psychological well-being and fewer depressive symptoms. Taken together, the local picture is clear: many everyday activities are experienced as more positive when they’re shared. 

Unsurprisingly, typical social activities such as eating and drinking were linked with higher happiness in company. But the lift also appeared for usually solo pursuits like reading. In short, the same task tended to feel better with another person nearby.

Psychologists explain why shared time may boost mood and how to use that insight to feel better day to day.

Why are people happier doing things with others?

Humans are social by nature. “We’re designed to thrive in social groups,” says psychologist Aaron P. Brinen. “Doing things with others taps into our biological need for connection.”

That includes time spent “alone together,” adds psychologist Thea Gallagher. Sharing space with someone you feel comfortable with, even without talking, can still create a sense of community and connection.

From an evolutionary view, groups improved survival. “When we are close with others, we increase production of oxytocin, a reward hormone,” says Dr Gail Saltz. That hormonal boost alone can lift mood.

Preferences vary, but everyone benefits from human connection to some degree. “We’re moving away from a simple extrovert–introvert divide,” Gallagher says. “Some people may be introverts yet enjoy spending time with familiar people. There are layers here.”

Which activities are linked with the most happiness?

The study found the biggest mood lift when people did these with company:

• Eating
• Drinking
• Walking
• Running
• Playing games
• Travelling
• Doing the washing

Surprisingly, typically solo tasks also felt better around others:

• Reading
• Arts and crafts
• Commuting
• Cleaning

The smallest boost was for caring for animals, though being with others still helped.

How to strike a healthy social balance

It is not realistic—or healthy—to be with others all the time. Psychologists recommend finding a mix that suits your temperament and routine. Enjoying solitude for its quiet is normal and fearing time alone is not a goal.

• Do a post-social check-in. After catch-ups, notice how you feel. If an outing left you energised, plan more of that format or those people. If you felt drained, scale back the length, change the setting or see that group less often.
• Try “alone together.” Sharing space without constant chat—reading beside a partner, cooking while kids do homework—can deliver a sense of connection without taxing your social battery.
• Schedule light, regular contact. Short walks, a quick call or a weekly hobby can keep your mood buoyant without overloading your calendar. Aim for small, consistent touchpoints rather than marathon socials.
• Match the activity to your energy. Pick low-stimulus settings when you are tired and save bigger gatherings for high-energy days. Set clear start and finish times so you can leave before you are wiped out.
• Protect recovery time. Block pockets of true downtime—phone off, no messages—so solitude restores rather than feels like avoidance.
• Notice warning signs. If mood dips, motivation fades or you start withdrawing for long stretches, gently increase safe, low-pressure contact. If distress or isolation persists, speak with a GP or mental health professional.

The takeaway: humans have a built-in need for connection, but the right dose varies. Prioritise the interactions that lift you, weave in companionable quiet and keep a little solitude for balance.