From vibrators to sex toys to even sex pillows, there are plenty of tools available to take your sexy time to the next level. But when it comes to lube, many of us aren’t quite sure how to use it to our advantage.
What is lube, anyway? Fear not: our experts are here to explain when and how to use lube in sexy scenarios, and how to choose the right one for your needs.
What is lube, really?
A lubricant, aka lube, is a liquid, made of silicone, water, or oil, used during sexual activity to reduce friction by making the genital skin feel smoother, either solo or with a partner, says Dr Sherry Ross, women’s sexual health expert and author of She-ology and The She-quel.
Sexual lubricants are especially helpful if you suffer from vaginal dryness with sexual activity, she adds.
While some people do use lube during intercourse to help decrease friction, add slip, increase comfort and decrease irritation, “others use it to minimise the discomfort associated with vaginal dryness due to peri/post menopausal vaginal atrophy,” notes obstetrician-gynaecologist Kiarra King.
The majority of people love bringing a lubricant into the bedroom to make sexual activity more enjoyable and reduce pain during vaginal penetration, says Dr Ross.
“A perfect lube should be wet, slippery, safe for the [body] tissue, long lasting and will not increase your risk for infections or skin irritation.”
What are the different types of lube?
There are many types of lubes on the mark and not all are created equal, says gynaecologist Anat Sapan.
There are two main types of lube: natural and synthetics. “Natural lubes fall into water based and oil based,” while synthetics are commonly silicone-based.
Water-based
Water-based lubricants feel smooth, “silky” and slippery to the touch, says Dr Ross. “There is no clumping effect and can be used safely with condoms and sex toys.”
Water-based lubes are also easy to clean, non-staining, and suitable for individuals with sensitive skin, says Dr Sapan. “However, they may dry out more quickly and require reapplication,” she adds.
Water-based lubricants will also not affect sperm integrity, making these lubes a safe option to use when trying to conceive, adds Dr Ross.
Oil-based
Oil-based lubricants, such as coconut oil, is a natural, preservative free, cost and vagina friendly alternative, says Dr. Ross.
For people with skin sensitivities, it has the benefit of not causing any allergic reactions or vaginal infection. “Coconut oil is anti-fungal, so it will not increase your risk of a yeast infection,” Dr. Ross adds.
Oil based-lubes also have a thicker and more long-lasting effect during sexual activity, adds Dr. Ross. However, keep in mind that “oil-based lubes can break down the integrity of latex condoms, increasing the risk of STIs and pregnancy.”
These lubes may also affect the sperm’s integrity, making it not the lube of choice when trying to conceive, notes Dr. Ross.
Silicone-based
Silicone-based lubricants are equally as wet and slippery as water-based lubes, says Dr. Ross. “Silicone based lubes tend to be thicker, last longer with more staying-power, but need soap and water to rinse off after sexual activity.”
Synthetics such as silicone will not jeopardise the latex condom, but are often not compatible with sex toys, unlike water-based options, notes Dr Sapan.
Silicone lubricants tend to be preferred for anal play since it’s thicker, slippery and doesn’t absorb into the body, so it lasts longer than other lubes, adds Dr Ross.
Like water-based lubricants, silicone-based options will also not affect sperm integrity, making them a safe option to use when trying to conceive, adds Dr Ross.
What to know about lube safety
Lubes can be very beneficial in the setting of vaginal dryness, says Dr King. “They are overall safe but in certain circumstances, [you will want] to be particular about the type of lube being used.”
Vaseline, aka petroleum jelly, was not created to be used as a vaginal lubricant, says Dr Ross. “It’s ideal for chapped lips and dry skin but tends to be thick, sticky and gummy as a vaginal lubricant.”
Using Vaseline can also increase the risk of a bacterial infection and break down latex condoms, so it’s recommended to leave it for other, non-sexy purposes.
You also need to keep in mind that some lubricants may not be ideal for safe-sex practices. Oil based lubes can damage condoms, increasing the risk of STIs.
You want to look for pure coconut oil that is natural, preservative free and does not contain any fragrances, she says, and “look at the ingredient list on the bottle to make sure the only item listed is coconut oil.”
Ingredients you want to avoid when it comes to choosing a lube include:
- parabens
- glycerin
- petroleum
- artificial fragrances
- colours
- flavours
- synthetic chemicals
- dyes
- preservatives or other harmful toxins
How to choose the right lube for you
Lubricants are a very personal decision, whether you are having solo or partner play, says Dr Ross. “Trial and error, with experimentation, is always my recommendation to know which lubricants work best for you or you and your partner.”
Here’s some questions you should ask yourself before you shop:
What am I using the lube for?
Think about if you’ll be using lube on a sex toy, whether you or a partner will be wearing a condom, or if you’ll be engaging in vaginal or anal sex when considering what kind of lube to try. As we mentioned earlier, if you’ll be using a sex toy, silicone-based products are ones you want to avoid.
Alternatively, silicone lubes are a great option if you’re planning on doing some anal play. And if you and your partner are planning on using condoms to protect from STIs or pregnancy, oil-based lubes can break down the latex, so look for water or silicone-based options instead.
What are my skin needs?
First and foremost, if you have any allergies, be extra careful to check the products labels carefully. If you have sensitive skin, look for something water-based, as these tend to work best for skin that is easily irritated.
What unique features am I interested in?
Aside from function, there is a wide variety of additional features that you may take into consideration when looking for the lube for you. These may include flavour or sensation-producing (such as warming) for a unique experience.
Three lubes to try
1. Lovehoney enjoy water based lubricant is a versatile water-based lubricant. The formula is long lasting and a little goes a long way.
2. Hello Period Hello Lube is vegan, water based and glycerine-free. It’s made with aloe, kiwifruit and grapefruit extracts, $15.95 for 90ml.
3. Lovers Eternal Love provides intensive hydration and natural non-hormonal support for mature and fragile skin, particularly for those experiencing symptoms of menopause or perimenopause.
It has been designed as both a restorative treatment and a lubricant in one, helping to ease vaginal dryness and discomfort while also enhancing pleasure during sex, $74 for 50ml.
Newsletter
