Wanting to do this ancient practice “right” causes some people major stress. But there are many ways to do it (from mindfulness to transcendental meditation), and learning the truth about meditation and how to meditate can bring you the calm it promises.
Myth #1: Meditation is always relaxing
The truth: Sitting quietly isn’t easy for everyone.
“Meditation can actually cause some dysregulation or anxiety, because it might be the first time someone begins to sit with the discomfort of their inner experience,” says Katie Krimer, a social worker who provides mindfulness therapies.
A review of multiple studies found that more than 8% of participants experienced an adverse event, especially anxiety or depression, while meditating. “I remind folks that noticing discomfort and not running from it straightaway is a success,” says Krimer.
For most, practice leads to more comfort, but those with a history of trauma might find mindfulness meditation challenging without support, says psychologist Paul Greene.
If, as a trauma survivor, you have a lot of negative thoughts while meditating or it just plain makes you feel bad, ask yourself whether meditation feels like a good way to train your attention or more like masochism. If it seems like the latter, consider working with a trauma counsellor to deal with those complex emotions, Greene suggests.
Myth #2: Meditation means sitting still with your eyes closed
The truth: Eyes closed, in lotus position, and in silence is not the only way to meditate.
You can do it lying down, focusing on each body part in turn, from your toes to your scalp (known as a body scan), or by going for a walk somewhere quiet and keeping your attention on the movement of your feet.
“Meditation is an intentional practice of redirecting ourselves away from our thoughts, and we can practice regardless of our position or even the level of noise,” Krimer says. Some keep eyes open but unfocused and others voice a mantra to focus, while still others play music. Whatever helps you feel present and mindfully aware is the right way for you.
Myth #3: Meditation is a big time-suck
The truth: Even just one minute of focused breathing can help you deal with negative thoughts.
One study found that meditating for 25 minutes three days in a row was all it took to lower stress levels. “You don’t need to meditate for 45 minutes for it to be worthwhile, Greene says. Still, as with any other healthy habit, it’s best to meditate regularly to help it stick.
“If you miss a day – or more –the most important thing is to try to resume your daily habit as soon as you can,” Greene says.
Myth #4: Some people are just bad at meditation
The truth: There’s no right or wrong way to meditate.
This means you can’t be “bad” at it. If you’re getting something out of it – say, you feel more relaxed or you are less judgmental of yourself – then you’re doing it right.
One of the major reasons people think they’re bad at meditation is that they can’t clear their minds, but that really isn’t the goal of the practice. Meditation isn’t about stopping your thoughts; instead, it’s about learning to “have more control over your thoughts rather than feeling like they are controlling you,” says Joree Rose, a meditation and mindfulness teacher.
The idea is to allow your thoughts and emotions to arise, observe them without judgment or rumination, and then return to the present by focusing on your breath, a mantra, your body, the immediate space around you, or an object, says Krimer. But even if you struggle to be mindful of the present moment, “having the intention to sit and attempt to train your awareness and observe the workings of the mind is good enough,” Krimer says.
Myth #5: Guided meditation isn’t “real” meditation
The truth: It absolutely is.
Guided meditation is led by exterior prompts, say from a teacher or an app, asking you to focus on various things, and it can be especially useful for people who have a hard time staying in the present moment.
“It provides continual reminders of what you’re supposed to be doing, exactly when you need to hear them,” Greene says. He advises keeping in mind the fact that prolonged periods of silence to focus on practicing the techniques are important, yet some guided meditations don’t offer enough silence.
"If you find you need more silence (or you find certain aspects of a meditation, such as music or the guiding voice, distracting), switch to another one. The free app Insight Timer is a great starting point for finding a format, theme, or guide that makes you look forward to getting comfortable and tuning in."
Newsletter
