We are experiencing a time of uncertainty and fear, our stress levels are high, and the result can often be frustration and irritability. When we have no set routine or purpose, we can quickly become overwhelmed and depressed. Avoiding these feelings is imperative. These seven useful tips from Dr Karen Phillip, author of Communication Harmony, will help keep your relationship emotionally connected when you're isolated with your partner:
1. Enjoy some alone time
A little alone time each day is essential. We all need time by our self and not just during a bathroom break. Time to be alone to work, chat with family and friends, read, all without distractions from your partner is essential. Establish time with your partner so each of you have some alone time to recharge and ensure that you remain as relaxed and balanced as you can.
2. Arrange a schedule
Your regular schedule has changed. When we can organise a new plan, it gives us back a sense of control. This is particularly helpful for those couples navigating working from home. Agree on the rules about noise, music, or interruptions when working. Design a working schedule around activities you want or need to do each day. A plan helps life become less frustrating and more organised. A schedule benefits our mental health.
3. Fresh air and exercise
Physical activity stimulates the release of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin, our feel-good hormones. These brain chemicals are important in lowering stress levels. When outside or in nature for a walk or run, or even enjoying your own garden, we reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. If quarantined, you may be more restricted, so enjoying nature can help create that good feeling along with exercise routines inside to keep your body moving.
4. Connect with the outside world
We currently are unable to go out and socialise with friends or spend time with extended family members. However, there are ways to communicate with friends, colleagues and loved ones as these relationships are essential to maintain. Enjoy that one or two calls each day with other people either via phone or video calls. Remaining in touch with others is beneficial for your mental health and overall sanity. You can share a meal or drink together while at different locations over video chat apps and conversations can remain fun and active even when physically apart.
5. Learn new communication techniques
Good communication is vital in all relationships. When you are isolated together 24/7, effective communication is even more essential. Listen, value and empathise with your partner. Like you, they likely feel frustrated and emotional. Spend this time learning improved styles of communication. This time cooped-up together can make or break some relationships. Learning how to respond more thoughtfully, eliminating poor or harsh responses, and improving tolerance is vital. The last thing either of you needs is added tension and stress.
6. Add some active fun to your day
Adding fun and laughter can help get you through tough and challenging times stronger. We all need laughter and joy in our life. Cooking up some weird combinations of food together, dancing because no one is watching, singing as no one can hear you (except your partner), play games, enjoy sex whenever you want, or soak in a bubble bath together, do that lesson or learn that skill online. All the things you don't get to do or enjoy together in this busy world gives you that one chance now. Use it.
7. Practice Tolerance
Tolerance is your ability and willingness to tolerate opinions or behaviours of your partner while practicing patience and avoiding judgement. It is about listening carefully, understanding the reason they do or say something and treating your partner with dignity and respect even if you disagree. Tolerance allows you to think more broadly which can lead to less stress and greater relationship happiness.
Our world is more uncertain and stressful right now. Using relaxation strategies when we are confined together can help keep us more balanced.
You are creating stories that you will share for generations to come on how you responded and thrived during this pandemic.
Dr Phillip's tips to help fill each day:
- Learn new things about each other. Write out questions for your partner you want to know, you can write the response you think they will give before reading the answer they provide. This can be an informative and very funny time depending on the type of answers each respond with
- Learning new communication skills during this challenging time to help reduce conflict and enrich your connection not only now but for all time ahead
- Plan all the things you want to do together or alone during this time, share the plan and discuss so you can both obtain what you want and need
- Schedule time for each of you to work, chat with friends and family. Arrange together time to watch a movie, cook, clean, exercise, dance, play and escaping for a short walk or run together, if you can
- Paint your house or rooms, do those delayed maintenance jobs, clean out the shed and your cupboards. Things we always put off due to our busy life can be completed with some extra free time now, no excuse
- Take some time to meditate, listen to a therapeutic guided relaxation session, do yoga, pilates or an aerobics class online.
- Get out into nature or watch nature programs if you are stuck inside
- Learn a new skill, perhaps something you always wanted to develop but never had the time
SPECIAL OFFER: Dr Karen Phillip is offering a FREE relaxation Hypnotherapy session How to Release your Anxiety regarding the Coronavirus available from my Virtual Hypnotherapy website to help everyone get through the lockdown to relieve the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling.
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