Fame is a funny thing. Nicole da Silva’s award-winning turn as Franky Doyle in the long-running Foxtel prison drama Wentworth, and her recurring role in Nine Network drama series Doctor Doctor, has brought her international acclaim, along with more than a quarter of a million ardent fans on social media, who post fawning comments like: “Loved you since Wentworth. Love from Japan”, “Hello from Sweden”, “Love you from India”. And yet, Nicole laughingly cringes at the attention. “I’m what they call an ‘extroverted introvert,’” she says. “This sounds ridiculous, but if there was a way I could do my job without being in the public eye
– without being seen! – I’d be happy!”
Which is why we don’t see much of Nicole rubbing shoulders with other celebs at A-list parties in the social pages. And she’s guarded about protecting her family’s privacy, too – her partner, John, and her three-year-old daughter, whose name she won’t share. But, at the same time, Nicole’s terrifically good fun. When she steps in front of our photographer’s camera, she twirls and poses with confidence and athletic grace, giving full reign to her megawatt dimpled smile. When the lights and cameras get packed away and she nestles into a leather sofa for a chat, the actress is equally charming as she reflects on life as she gets older.
“To be perfectly honest, it took a friend to remind me and I was more amused by the fact that I’d forgotten than anything else,” she laughs, flashing that big smile. But, while Nicole may have
overlooked her milestone birthday, she’s certainly aware of how major shifts have been taking place in her attitude towards health and happiness. Here, she shares her new take on life.
On happiness...
“I honestly believe it’s those simple things, like our dog jumping onto my bed first thing in the
morning because she’s so excited that we’re awake,” says Nicole. “Dancing in the kitchen with my daughter. Going for walks together, food and sharing a meal. That, for me, is the core of it.
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“I spent a lot of time through my 20s and 30s being highly ambitious and wanting to tick off things and then going, ‘Okay, what’s next? How can I top that?’ And never truly being satisfied,”
she recalls. “That’s not necessarily the case for me anymore. COVID made me realise what’s actually important is that my family and I are safe, healthy, there’s a roof over our head and there’s food on the table. Beyond that, it doesn’t matter. It truly doesn’t. I don’t think happiness is a gold-star destination; it’s not somewhere that you reach and then it sticks around. I think it’s something that comes in smaller, more consistent ways.”
On being fit and healthy...
“I’ve always tailored my exercise to what role I’m playing,” Nicole says. “For instance, with Franky in Wentworth, I knew she had to look like she could hold herself in a fight and you wouldn’t want to cross her, so I started lifting heavy weights and going to the gym six days a week. But I think now, moving into this next decade of my life, the focus is less on how I look in my body and more how I feel. And that, for me, is hugely freeing.
“There’s been a recent movement on social media to out the kind of unattainable stereotypes
and filter culture that, as a kid, I was so exposed to. For someone who’s in the industry, who’s in front of the camera a lot, I was actually very naive to it and how contrived it is. And I didn’t realise, until very recently, how I had internalised a lot of that negative body-image talk and criticism that comes from being constantly exposed to the same type of body, the same shape, the same size. It’s so unattainable and so fictitious. It’s just untrue. Now I think: It’s not about how you look, it’s not about what size you are, it’s actually about feeling comfortable in my body today. And if I don’t, what can I do to serve it?”
On managing stress...
“Yoga is great for me,” Nicole says. “It stills everything and stops that mind chatter. If I wake
up one morning and can feel that brain chatter start up, I know the only way to circumvent that
is to get up and move my body. So I’ll roll out the yoga mat and get to work, or I’ll go on a long walk, just to clear it all out. I can be a stress-head, but that’s lessening these days. If I feel myself moving into a stressful time, I try to put things in place to buffer it. I’ll try to carve out time to de-frag, to recentre and I’ll look at things that support my body to get through these times – to make sure I’m getting enough water and magnesium and B vitamins and that I’m eating well.”
On the value of food...
“I was really lucky to grow up with a Portuguese background,” Nicole says. “The food style is very Mediterranean: lots of fresh ingredients, fresh flavours, olive oil, garlic and parsley on pretty
much everything. And that has certainly stayed with me. One of my favourite dishes of all time
is a Portuguese dish called bacalhau com grão, which is salted cod with chickpeas, potatoes,
carrots, green beans, spinach, all doused with onion, olive oil and lemon. It’s so delicious. “Food is actually a huge part of the way I connect to family, even day to day. We cook a lot at home, and to have some family time at the end of the day is a nice staple.”
On carving time out for me...
“I come across as gregarious, but I need to retreat into myself in order to recharge,” she confides. “I need some sort of movement – so yoga or walking, and I find writing creatively engaging. I’m working on a few things at the moment. I have a production company with my producing partner [and former Wentworth co-star] Danielle Cormack, so we’re developing our own TV shows and a film and I’m also working on a children’s book. So there’s TV and film and a book all floating around in my head right now. I set myself the goal of 15 minutes of each (exercise and writing), but quite often I find that, once I get started writing for 40 minutes, an hour can go by and I’m completely engaged in what I’m doing.”
On future fulfilment...
So, what’s next for Nicole? “When COVID hit, there was so much time to go: ‘What would I like
to focus on?’” she recalls. “I think it was invaluable in that respect. It was incredibly clarifying. At the moment, I’m very much of a mindframe that you work on doing the things, and seeing the people, that make you feel happy. You need to be true to yourself and honour that in yourself.”
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