Christmas Stress Strategies

Is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year? Maybe for some, but for others it’s the most stressful time of the year.

“Christmas, a time when people are coming together to celebrate with family and loved ones, can be a poignant reminder for those who have lost loved ones, are estranged from family, or are experiencing loneliness and isolation,” says Stella Ladikos, therapist and founder of Meraki Mental Health Training.

We asked her for the top reasons for Christmas stress and strategies to help us cope.

Loneliness and isolation 

While Christmas is known to be a time for family and friends, it can also exacerbate feelings of loneliness. Around 31% of Australians feel lonely around the festive season, reports the Red Cross. And it’s not jut older people, either. The Red Cross survey found 41% of women aged 18-34 frequently felt lonely around Christmas.

“With working from home, and spending less time at community events, many of us are finding our social circles becoming smaller and smaller. The festive season can really exacerbate this, especially if you won’t be sharing this time with family or friends.”

Comparing yourself or your family to social media doesn’t help, says Ladikos.

“You can start to paint very biased pictures in your head of how the world is – thinking everyone is out there having a great time. Remember that social media isn’t reality. We all pick and choose the best parts to share and when you’re scrolling through stories of everyone’s fun moments.”

Stay off social media and “focus on ways you can connect and bring joy to people’s lives,” says Ladikos.

“Some ways you could foster connection these holidays could be to volunteer within your local community. Or even writing cards for neighbours can be a sweet and simple way to say hello and reconnect.”

Even if you can't be with family and friends who live far away, arrange a set time to catch up on a video call.

Missing loved ones 

If you are grieving a loved one, or are estranged from family, holidays like Christmas can make all of your feelings come to the surface. Ladikos reminds us to not put too much pressure on ourselves.

“Often, we make life harder for ourselves by berating ourselves for experiencing the full range of human emotions. If you need to grieve, that’s okay.”

“Be gentle with yourself and try to focus on doing some things that you love and make you feel connected to yourself.” That might be going for a walk, reading a book or calling a friend.

Better Health Victoria suggests talking to others about your loved one. Sharing memories and stories can help you come to terms with Christmas without them.

Financial stress

If you’re feeling the financial strain this holiday season, know you’re not alone. In a Beyond Blue survey, more than 80% of Australians said rising expenses negatively affected their mental health heading into Christmas, with one in five reporting the impact was extreme.

Ladikos suggests planning ahead with your family and friends for events.

“Chat with your loved ones and opt for a potluck meal" instead of expecting the host to provide everything. And do a Secret Santa instead of buying presents for the whole family.

Better Health Victoria says you don’t have to spend money to give someone a great present. You could give someone a voucher for your time – babysitting, doing some jobs around the house and garden or walking their dog. Whatever would help lighten the load for them.

Contact the National Debt Helpline to speak to a financial counsellor if you have severe money troubles.

Anxiety

Anxiety disorders affect one in four Australians at some point in their life. The extra pressure of seeing family and organising or attending events can tip the scale, too.

“If you’re feeling anxious these holidays (or anytime, really), it’s important to take time for yourself and do the things that genuinely fill your cup. Even if that’s binge watching your favourite show.

“Many of us feel this pressure to pack the break full of activities, but the truth is that it’s okay to do nothing and just recharge. Taking time for rest and recovery may be exactly what you need.”

Family pressure can add to your anxiety. Whether it’s comments about your lifestyle choices or physical appearance, some family members really know how to push your buttons. If this happens, change the subject or take five, says Ladikos.

“It’s okay to take some time out if you need it. Maybe you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, or step outside – whatever works to shift the focus.”

Remember that while alcohol can be a key part of celebrating for some, it can also be a negative, physically and mentally. If you’re feeling depressed, drinking can make symptoms worse, reports Drink Aware. Space out your drinks with water and stock up on tasty non-alcoholic drinks.

Christmas can be a difficult time for many but with these strategies, you can take the pressure off. And if you need to talk to someone, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 any time.