Holiday Houseguests: Keep Intimacy Private and Calm

It’s peak houseguest season, which can make couple time tricky. With parents in the spare room and nieces and nephews on every sofa, privacy shrinks fast. Still, intimacy doesn’t have to go on pause—smart planning and a few discreet tweaks can keep the spark alive.

The issue: family are sleeping in the next room and the walls are thin.

What to do about it:

Call it an early night. A polite exit after dinner buys a quiet window. Keep voices low, move slowly and focus on long, steady breathing to stay relaxed and reduce noise.
Soften the soundscape. Add felt pads behind the headboard, pull the bed from the shared wall, lay a folded blanket or rug under the frame, switch on a fan or white-noise app and close wardrobe doors to prevent rattles.
Use a pillow as a muffler. When things heat up, placing a pillow over mouths can help contain stray sounds while keeping breathing comfortable.
Plan private pockets. If the proximity feels like a mood killer, schedule solo activities for guests—a scenic walk, a museum visit, a long brunch—so you can enjoy an empty house.
Change locations. The shower offers built-in cover and a locked door. A late-night drive or time in the car in the garage can also feel fun and private—be mindful of safety and local laws.

Above all, keep consent, comfort and discretion front of mind. If it feels too stressful, press pause and try again tomorrow—desire rebounds faster when no one feels rushed or watched.

The issue: You get caught and things get awkward around the house

What to do about it:

Fit a bedroom lock before guests arrive and keep a simple door wedge as backup.
If someone walks in, cover up and stay calm. Most family members won’t want a post-mortem.
If a teen jokes at breakfast or Mum gives a knowing look, keep it light. Apologise for the disruption then switch the topic.
Re-set house rules for the visit: knock before entering, no surprise drop-ins, low background noise at night.
Remember a healthy sex life isn’t shameful. Treat it as normal and move on.

The issue: No space, no time

What to do about it:

Give yourselves grace. Even strong sex lives ebb and flow, especially in holiday chaos.
Prioritise connection in small ways until the house is quiet again—flirty texts, a long hug, a lingering good-night kiss.
Create micro-moments for just the two of you: a walk around the block, a coffee run, five minutes of cuddling before lights out.
Put a date on the calendar for after guests leave so there’s something to look forward to.

Intimacy rebounds faster when pressure is low, boundaries are clear and both partners feel considered.